| 1 |
1 |
 |
Dale Earnhardt Jr. |
“Dale Earnhardt Jr. is the winner of the race at Martinsville,” said Muhammed Saeed al-Sahhaf, Iraq’s Minister of Information. “I’ll even take you to Martinsville and prove it, just as soon as it’s cleaned up.” |
| 2 |
4 |
 |
Elliott Sadler |
He sure did rile Tony Stewart up. And he wasn’t even wearing a press badge. |
| 3 |
7 |
 |
Jeff Gordon |
Report: Gordon’s No. 62 not as exciting as Mark McGwire’s. |
| 4 |
5 |
 |
Jimmie Johnson |
What do you call it when he trades paint with Tony Stewart? Marketing strategy. |
| 5 |
2 |
 |
Matt Kenseth |
Quote of the week: “We just ran real bad.” |
| 6 |
11 |
 |
Bobby Labonte |
There’s a dumb rumor floating around that Labonte’s team manager, Jimmy Makar, is headed to Robert Yates Racing. That’s almost as annoying as the commercial where the cabbie goes, “Hey buddy, I can get you a great deal on the Brooklyn Bridge.” Don’t you just want to pummel that cabbie when he says that? |
| 7 |
3 |
 |
Kurt Busch |
With sunglasses on, he kind of looks like Greg Biffle. A little. |
| 8 |
6 |
 |
Kevin Harvick |
/It's just another manic Sunday/I wish it was Saturday/Cause that's my fun day/My I-have-a-good-run-day/ |
| 9 |
9 |
 |
Tony Stewart |
Why didn’t they pick him instead of Adam Sandler to play Dave Buznik in Anger Management? |
| 10 |
8 |
 |
Ryan Newman |
Look Ma! No brakes! |
| 11 |
10 |
 |
Ricky Craven |
Rumor has it the crew put on the wrong tires on the final stop. If that’s true, it’s a wonder he didn’t finish in South Boston. |
| 12 |
16 |
 |
Greg Biffle |
Has not really had a bad race in 2003. Which means he hasn’t run into Harvick yet. |
| 13 |
12 |
 |
Mark Martin |
Currently engaged in an all-out war with Robby Gordon for 15th place in the standings. If Mark averages a 24th-place finish in the final 27 races and Robby averages a 21st-place finish... |
| 14 |
14 |
 |
Sterling Marlin |
Still without a top-five finish in 2003. |
| 15 |
17 |
 |
Jeff Burton |
He had the top-finishing Roush car for the first time since last October. |
| 16 |
21 |
 |
Terry Labonte |
He got off to a decent start last year, too, but faded in the second half. So don’t get excited yet. OK, a little excited is acceptable. |
| 17 |
15 |
 |
Ricky Rudd |
Was headed for a top-10 finish but locked the brakes up in the closing laps. |
| 18 |
13 |
 |
Michael Waltrip |
In the immortal words of Mike Tyson, he’s "fading into Bolivian.” |
| 19 |
18 |
 |
Dale Jarrett |
“Would you guys like an appetizer?” “Sure. I’ll have the crew chief sampler.” |
| 20 |
20 |
 |
Rusty Wallace |
It’s been nearly two years since he’s won. Wonder what he wants for the anniversary? Flowers? A little chocolate? A nice card? |
| 21 |
22 |
 |
Robby Gordon |
He’s not wrecking cars. He completes nearly every lap. But something’s missing. |
| 22 |
25 |
 |
Joe Nemechek |
Average start this year: 19.4. Average finish: 19.3. Hey Joe, I am going to need you to start 20th and finish 22nd at Fontana to even that stat out a little better. |
| 23 |
NR |
 |
Bill Elliott |
He beat Mayfield again. |
| 24 |
NR |
 |
Kenny Wallace |
“Who says Kenny can’t run fast?” became “They said Kenny can’t get no gas.” |
| 25 |
23 |
 |
Jimmy Spencer |
Had a good day until the gas can got stuck, which means he steered clear of Kurt Busch until the gas can got stuck. |
