| 1 |
4 |
 |
Jeff Gordon |
He battled illness all week long at Chicagoland. Unconfirmed reports suggest he fell ill while watching his Saturday Night Live rerun. |
| 2 |
5 |
 |
Ryan Newman |
He’s a lot like the Detroit Tigers. Four wins in the last 10 months. |
| 3 |
1 |
 |
Bobby Labonte |
His hometown of Corpus Christi is getting soaked by Hurricane Claudette. Unfortunately, there won’t be enough water to extinguish Labonte’s car. |
| 4 |
2 |
 |
Matt Kenseth |
He and Ken Schrader have combined to score 15 top-10 finishes. |
| 5 |
6 |
 |
Michael Waltrip |
Wow. Yet another top five. Dude, if you keep going, you can match your career total. |
| 6 |
3 |
 |
Dale Earnhardt Jr. |
Several players from the Atlanta Braves visited his pits at Chicago. Reportedly, they told Dale Jr. go out and give it all he had for the Chipper. |
| 7 |
9 |
 |
Tony Stewart |
Tony’s been real calm this year. For the first time in two years, he wasn’t invited to Wrigley Field throw out the first photographer. |
| 8 |
7 |
 |
Kevin Harvick |
He tried to stretch his fuel a tad too far. It’s just an assumption, but that loud cackle you heard was Robby Gordon laughing when he went by. |
| 9 |
11 |
 |
Jeremy Mayfield |
This guy has truly turned the ship around. By now, Casey Atwood has all but stopped calling on Mondays, asking, “Is it over? Am I back?” |
| 10 |
10 |
 |
Jimmie Johnson |
He sure did succeed in making Michael Waltrip mad. But Jimmie later soothed relations by promising to mention Mikey’s sponsors for the next four weeks. |
| 11 |
12 |
 |
Terry Labonte |
He’s really had fun with the “Got Milk?” campaign this year. But why hasn’t marketing come up with “Milk: It does Labonte good?” |
| 12 |
9 |
 |
Kurt Busch |
He’s got a lot in common with Jack Sprague. They’ve both lived in Michigan, both drive red-and-black cars, both have four-letter first names, both won several times in the Truck Series and both have finished 28th or worse in the last three weeks. |
| 13 |
13 |
 |
Jeff Burton |
He’s leading the way for Roush again. What’s next? A Mark Martin victory? |
| 14 |
16 |
 |
Robby Gordon |
He’s very anxious to get to Loudon. So anxious, in fact, that he’s already told his motorcoach driver to bump Jeff Gordon’s motorhome out of the way on the drive up. |
| 15 |
14 |
 |
Sterling Marlin |
He’s really struggled since his (ahem) transmission trouble at Michigan. He won’t ever lose his job at Ganassi, but if he did, he wouldn’t be the first guy fired for missing his shift. |
| 16 |
19 |
 |
Elliott Sadler |
His crew chief is named Fox. Robert Yates couldn’t find a qualified crew chief named Nbc to work the second half. |
| 17 |
15 |
 |
Mark Martin |
Hasn't put together two straight top-fives all year. |
| 18 |
17 |
 |
Rusty Wallace |
He’s really been struggling. He’d change his name back to Russell, but you don’t want to mess with souvenir sales. |
| 19 |
21 |
 |
Bill Elliott |
Yay! It’s flat track season! |
| 20 |
23 |
 |
Jamie McMurray |
Dude, you’re not supposed to lead at Chicago. Your sponsor isn’t even based there. |
| 21 |
20 |
 |
Greg Biffle |
When told he finished 20th at Chicago, he probably said, “Not too bad! We’re Still averaging a 10th-place finish in the second half!” |
| 22 |
23 |
 |
Ricky Rudd |
He’s got three straight top-15 finishes, which means Dale Jarrett is simply living vicariously through his former teammate. |
| 23 |
NR |
 |
Johnny Benson |
He turned a wrecked car into a coffee table. No lie. And now there’s a rumor going around that Todd Bodine’s house is filled with coffee tables. |
| 24 |
NR |
 |
Ward Burton |
He’s added WD-40 as an associate sponsor. Which is ironic, since that’s the product his team had to use to help unlodge those pesky Dodge decals. |
| 25 |
18 |
 |
Dale Jarrett |
He leads the series in DNFs. And crew chiefs. |
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